Dental floss fishing
Let me start by saying: if my bug-out bag ever spilled open in the middle of a crisis, bystanders wouldn’t be inspired—they’d be deeply confused. Picture it now: a half-used tube of glittery unicorn toothpaste, a Ziploc of baking soda, a solitary Twinkie in a vacuum-sealed pouch labeled “DO NOT EAT UNTIL THE APOCALYPSE,” and a tangle of dental floss that looks like I tried to strangle a squirrel mid-meditation.
And that’s just one of the side pockets.
Most folks will tell you a bug-out bag should have water filters, survival knives, and paracord long enough to rappel down the Empire State Building. And yes, those things matter. But what about the human side of survival? The oddly comforting things that keep you grounded while your world spins like a hamster in a tumble dryer?
Let’s normalize bug-out bags with personality. Here are a few of the weird (but wildly useful) items I carry—and why you might want to make room for them too.
1. Toothpaste That Tastes Like a Carnival
Yes, toothpaste. Not the chalky, “mint-adjacent” paste that comes in military rations, but the kind that makes you smile while you brush. Mine smells like bubblegum and regret, and I keep it because if I’m brushing my teeth under a tarp in the rain, I’d at least like to feel like I’m at a county fair.
It’s not just about hygiene—it’s about morale. Clean teeth make you feel normal, and normalcy is a currency in chaos.
2. Baking Soda: The MacGyver of Powders
Deodorant? Check. Tooth cleanser? Yup. Fire extinguisher? Kind of. Emergency toothpaste, foot powder, antacid, or impromptu face scrub? Absolutely.
I carry a small container of baking soda like it’s powdered gold. It’s saved me from more smelly pits and sour stomachs than I care to admit. Plus, it pairs nicely with vinegar if you ever feel the need to host a science fair during a blackout.
3. Twinkies: For Emotional Support Only (Mostly)
Now let’s talk Twinkies. Those golden torpedoes of sugar and mystery-cream may not be your typical survival food, but hear me out: they’re shelf-stable longer than most political alliances and—more importantly—they’re familiar.
In a crisis, familiarity is like psychological duct tape. If a moment ever gets too hard, too fast, or too uncertain, biting into a Twinkie is like time-traveling to simpler days when your biggest problem was whether to eat one or two.
(Answer: always two.)
4. Dental Floss: The Unsung Hero of Tiny Survival Tools
If MacGyver and a dentist had a baby, it would be dental floss. Specifically the clear, no-wax kind—the kind that doubles as fishing line, sewing thread, or emergency tripwire if you’re feeling particularly Jason Bourne that day.
This humble string has saved more bacon (and buttons) than duct tape on a humid day. I’ve used it to:
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Patch a backpack
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Hang a tarp
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Tie back a broken zipper pull
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Secure a splint for a sprained finger (again… don’t ask)
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And once, in a moment of desperate culinary improvisation, roast a marshmallow over a fire using a floss-and-stick contraption that should’ve made me eligible for a merit badge or a Netflix deal
And yes, it also cleans your teeth. But floss is more than oral hygiene—it’s survival string with a superiority complex.
So toss a pack in your bug-out bag and never underestimate the power of glorified thread with aspirations.
5. A Laminated Photo of My Dog in Sunglasses
Prepping Chihuahua
Okay, this one’s just for me—but also kind of not. Emotional resilience is part of preparedness. And when the world feels upside down, it helps to remember who you’re doing this for. Plus, it’s hard to take life too seriously when you’ve got a chihuahua in aviators staring back at you like he’s your spirit animal.
6. That One Practical Thing That Makes You Feel Human Again
We all know a bug-out bag should be about survival—but let’s not pretend we become emotionless Navy SEALs the second the power goes out. If you’re fleeing a wildfire or hunkering down after a derecho, there’s nothing frivolous about feeling human in the middle of hardship.
For me, it’s dry shampoo. A tiny bottle, nothing fancy. But let me tell you—when you’ve been wearing the same clothes for three days and your hair has the structural integrity of a bird’s nest held together by sorrow and static cling? A couple spritzes of that miracle mist and suddenly I’m not just surviving—I’m thriving. Or at least smelling like someone who hasn’t entirely given up on society.
Maybe for you, it’s a lip balm, a compact mirror, or a travel-size deodorant. Something light, useful, and grounding. These aren’t luxuries—they’re lifelines to your dignity. And dignity, my friends, weighs less than 2 ounces and fits neatly in the side pouch of your go-bag.
Because when everything feels out of control, sometimes what you need most… is just to feel like you again.
Prep With Personality
Sure, I’ve got the serious gear too—first aid, emergency radio, water purification. But the longer I live the lifestyle of self-reliance, the more I realize: what gets you through isn’t just tools. It’s tenacity… and tiny comforts.
So next time you’re organizing your bag, remember: there’s room for both iodine tablets and emotionally stabilizing snack cakes. You can carry a multitool and a stuffed mini alpaca named Carl. Preparedness isn’t just about surviving. It’s about showing up fully—floss, Twinkie, dry shampoo, and all.
Because when life hands you lemons, a little baking soda makes a pretty satisfying volcano.
