Posts Tagged ‘tragedy’

Preparing for THE Worst

By Kellene Bishop

You’ve not doubt heard the saying “Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.”  You could say that I live by this particular motto in my preparedness efforts. However, today I’m going to discuss with you a topic that I have never seen addressed in a preparedness venue—preparing for THE worst.  What is the “the worst?”

woman being attacked www.pepperspraywoman.com  Preparing for THE WorstMore than 200,000 American women every year—in a time of relative calm, comfort, and civil order—are raped. Yet, in every crisis scenario which has EVER occurred in our nation’s history in the last 70 years—such as hurricanes, earthquakes, financial collapse, etc—the numbers of rape reports increase substantially amidst the darkness of tragedy.  So, my question for you today is, what are you doing now to PREPARE to defend against THE Worst in your everyday life as well as during a time of great struggle?

Rape is a disgusting and horrifying crime, and to most women, their greatest nightmare. The very thought of the word repulses most. According to FBI records, more than 90,000 attacks are reported every year in the U.S. That number pales in comparison to what’s really happening. The U.S. Department of Justice estimates that more than 300,000 women are forced to survive a rape each year.  But according to other studies, less than one in three women reports their real-life nightmare to police or other authorities. As such it is believed that one in five women in the U.S. today, under the age of 26 will be raped. I share this tidbit of information to you only for the purpose of getting you, my dear readers, to begin to comprehend the reality of this dark side of human tragedy because only when we understand the reality of this particular criminal event can we begin to prepare against it—in defense of it.

It pains me to even feel like I have to address this topic. But over the last 2 years I’ve had several conversations with women, their husbands, their children etc. which lead me to believe that there is an alarming amount of naïveté among good families who are trying their best to prepare for tougher times. Let’s get real here for just a moment, even if you don’t believe that this horrific event can happen to yourself or someone you love dearly right now, you must believe it is possible amidst a more challenging time.  Yes, desperation breeds horrors—horrors that most women never want to think about.  Do you recall the litany of nightmare stories which occurred during hurricane Katrina? The single location of the Louisiana Superdome became a carnival land for deranged and disconnected males, committing rape against women, elderly, and even children as young as 10 years of age.  Later, as refugees migrated to the Houston Astrodome, the same grotesque acts occurred, along with beatings, theft, and other acts in defiance of human decency.  Clearly, we don’t live in Disneyland, Folks, and it certainly will NOT get better during a crisis. It WILL get worse. So, what are you doing to prepare for it?

Ladies, we’ve got to stop assuming that someone else will be there to defend us against such an act.  For those of us who feel sufficiently connected to a knight in shining armor, understand that during a time of crisis that knight is likely to be off fighting known dragons elsewhere in the form of filling sand bags, foraging for food, being a sentinel to a larger perimeter.  Even the imaginative minds of cartoon crime fighters have never tried to create a super hero that could be in all places at all times, so why do so many of my female and MALE friends believe that they will “be there” to defend against such a horrific occasion? The possibility of your husband, boyfriend, father, or some other protector being present at “just the right time” when such an attack is thrust upon you is minimal even in today’s relative social climate.  It is much less likely in a strained social environment. As such, women (young and old) must educate themselves (mentally and physically) as to how to defend and PREVENT such instances. No nonsense mental and physical education such as that taught by Women of Caliber, is critical to your everyday survival.

alert Preparing for THE WorstLadies, rape is not just a brutal sexual act that you bravely endure, nor is it just about the physical assault that usually goes hand in hand. If you are lucky enough to physically survive such an event you will find yourself fighting an even darker enemy in the subsequent months and years. Victims of rape also find themselves continually abused by the psychological aftermath. Many woman survive the physical assault only to have their quality of life destroyed because of the emotional damage. Worse, is when these same women are raped who also are raising children.  Insecurity, fear, anger, and even self-loathing are often the “after shocks” which destroy the virtuous legacy a mother desired to pass on to her children.  A mother’s projection of the pain she’s endured will inevitably affect her children if she doesn’t receive proper care following her attack.  And yet such care is not likely to exist in a time of great turmoil. So, me dear readers, we all have a choice to make. Will we prevent such an act from even coming into play in either ours or our loved one’s  life, or will we risk “just crossing that bridge when we come to it” or deny that it even exists?

Gentlemen,—particularly those who have an aversion towards tools of “excessive force” and protection—are you willing to risk that such an event will never happen to your wives, daughters, or other loved ones so that you can remain inside your comfort zone? Most men do not want to even consider that such an event would ever happen to the women they care about—let alone whether or not they will be capable of coming to the rescue. As a result, too many men are ill-prepared in their own preparedness efforts against this dark story of society. Sadly, some are even non-supportive of their wives’ efforts to take their own self-defense more seriously. I assure everyone who reads this that whatever comfort you have now by avoiding such a reality in your own immediate circle of relationships or more extended, will be insignificant the instant you painfully exclaim, “If only!”

The rampant criminal acts that took place during the Depression were not associated with obtaining food, money, or other vital need.  In an unsure world, deviant persons are likely to engage in ANY kind of an act which makes them feel like they are in control again.  This is why rape becomes so prevalent in a scenario of social tragedy. Ultimately, rape is about control.  This is why you hear of these same horrid acts in present-day Rwanda, Zimbabwe, Haiti, and S. Africa.  These nations are out of control.  Many of their mealtimes are full of nothing but desperation. Dark souls are being driven to establish some semblance of control into their lives.
Please understand that rape is not a crime of strangers.  Sixty-four percent of the time the woman is raped by a trusted companion! That’s a particularly dangerous problem because the ripple effect brutalizes them once again at close range. Compounding the problem is that the woman frequently has deep emotional feelings and even sincere love for the attacker so the crime is never reported, opting instead to give the perpetrator another chance, allowing the nightmare to continue. The survivor sits alone in silence, darkness, and fear…unless…

best defense Preparing for THE WorstWhat if women, in particular, stopped relying on knights in shining armor to protect them from this heinous crime? What if, instead, women took their safety into their own hands by becoming fully informed and educated on how to recognize a looming rape occurrence and how to successfully thwart it?   A physical self-defense series.  A self-defense firearm training class.  All of these are ideal counter-measures to ensure that a woman never has to become a survivor and be left to simply dance to the present music that’s played for them.  If a rape is fought back with skill and a pre-conditioned mind, then the survivor will be able to much better cope with the incident, leaving it behind with a sense of conquering evil rather than being trampled in its path. The same is true of the men in our lives who genuinely care about us.  If they hold the tools and the knowledge to prevent and fight back against a rape, then their lives also have the real peace that’s necessary to survive a time of turmoil. And particularly in this case, there’s a lot to be said for Peace in Preparedness.

women defense Preparing for THE WorstLest anyone think that I’m simply agitating a problem without offering a solution, I am purposefully being incomplete in my assessment of solutions in this particular article. How a person elects to defend themselves is a very personal decision—one that must be made with conviction.  While I won’t attempt to be secretive that I believe firmly in the effectiveness and even the necessity of using a firearm to defend against such occasions, I cannot project that same belief on others. But what I can do is to demonstrate the reality of the need for serious preparedness and hopefully aid in the education that’s necessary to make an informed decision in this regard.  Too often I hear folks ignorantly believe that “protection” is only necessary for those who are not willing to share their goods and supplies. Today I’m sharing with you that that notion is a fallacy and I hope and pray that you will take this information today to heart—if not applicable for your own benefit, perhaps in your efforts to assist others in making this difficult but necessary decision. Ultimately I hope that I won’t conjure up nightmares for you, rather you find yourselves recipients of the peace that comes with proper, realistic preparedness.

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Copyright Protected 2010, Preparedness Pro and Kellene Bishop. All Rights Reserved. No portion of any content on this site may be duplicated, transferred, copied, or published without written permission from the author. However, you are welcome to provide a link to the content on your site or in your written works.

Depression 101

by Kellene Bishop

I’ve decided to be very forthright and open in today’s article in hopes that it truly does help someone else.  I often hear people say “I don’t know how you do all that you do.”  I smile and thank them for their gracious compliment, but the truth of it is, I do what I do while challenging a significant obstacle—depression.

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Depression can take hold of anyone. photo c/o hopeworkscommunity.wordpress.com

I realize that in this kind of forum I’m only going to be able to scratch the surface on this topic, but I firmly believe that it has not been appropriately addressed in real-life terms and is especially absent topic in the arena of preparedness.

First of all, allow me to dispel some myths of depression.  Depression isn’t a mood, it’s a disease. It’s a break down in the chemical functions of the body that impair communications from the brain to the rest of the body.  The impairment of proper brain charges and chemicals is much like someone having low blood sugar, or high insulin levels, a heart murmur, or a person in need of blood thinners, etc.  In other words, it’s about a deficiency in the body.

Depression isn’t about “woe is me, I want to end my life,” although many forms of depression can get that serious.  There are many levels of depression. Some levels of depression are the lowest of the low and considered “manic.” Other forms manifest themselves when a person eats poorly or doesn’t get enough rest.  Still other forms manifest themselves on a low level throughout a person’s life or on a higher level when a great deal of decision making is thrust upon them. (it feels more like an anxiety though, at that point rather than what some people would associate with “depression.”) Feeling grief or unresponsive due to a severe tragedy in a person’s life isn’t depression. It’s responding naturally to life. Although some people do have a physiological change in their chemical make up in response to such an instance and succumb to depression as a result.  It’s actually very similar to someone being injured in a car accident. Instead, a person’s heart, brain, chemical balance, etc. is injured in a collision with grief.

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The grief process can be exacerbated by depression photo c/o www.theocentric.com

Contrary to assumptions, depression isn’t always about a feeling of low or sadness. Sometimes it’s feeling a serious lack of energy to do anything proactive. Sometimes the chemical imbalance demands a great deal of sleep. Depression isn’t something that a person can just “snap out of.”  You can no easier get a person to “snap out of depression” than you can get a paralyzed person to get up out of their wheelchair and walk as the result of a superhuman will.  Some who struggle with depression appear to the outsiders to be wallowing in their victimization status or their “Eeyore moods.”  What many folks don’t realize is that the depressed person literally can’t see it.  Getting them to “snap out of it” when they are in that state is like trying to get a blind person to see clearly. The vision of a seriously depressed person is physiologically skewed and does not represent full faculties. A person suffering from serious depression simply does not see the world as it really is.  They have chemical blinders, much like a person whose mental capacity is altered by drugs.

Another misconception that I really wish people understood for their own benefit is that depression is NOT triggered by the actions of someone else or a particular experience. Too many folks take blame upon themselves for the heavy level of depression experienced by a loved one in their life. While a great deal of stress or a mean hearted act of someone else may not be helpful to someone who struggles with depression, it’s never solely responsible for the depression. Think about it.  Any person who doesn’t deal with depression is affected by stresses of the day, right?  But what happens in response to life, with a person who has depression, is based primarily to how the body responds to the instance—chemicals and electrical charges and all.  Sometimes the chemical and brain signals are insufficient to appropriately deal with a situation. But just because someone has depression doesn’t give an edict of authority to the rest of the world to change and accommodate the person who struggles with depression either.  Just because I may struggle with depression doesn’t give me the right to alter someone else’s behavior.  To put it another way, my car running out of gas on the way to your house isn’t about you living 500 miles away. It’s about how much gas I have in my car. I have a girlfriend who is married to a man who struggles with depression. She can love him, she can be accommodating to a point. But that doesn’t mean that she is to allow his disability to define her worth and virtue as a wife. In other words, when dealing with a person who has depression, it really is NOT you, it’s them.

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Compassion and understand is imperative for those living with depression photo c/o brucefong.wordpress.com

So, if you or a loved one struggle with depression, what can be done so that the disease itself doesn’t preclude you from surviving everyday now as well as serious trials in the future?  The answer is specific to a person with depression at any level, but it also has some commonalities with someone who suffers from diabetes or hear or kidney problems. There is only so much you can do to be prepared. But there are a whole LOT of “so much you can do” actions to take.  And then simply let what will be, be from there.

First of all, the key to surviving depression is accepting it.  It’s real. It’s not going to just go away, and person who has depression MUST deal with it as such. When it comes to depression, I feel like dealing with it is just as serious as dealing with a firearm. I use a firearm regularly, but I have the ultimate of respect for its power. I instinctively keep my finger off of the trigger unless I’m in a safe environment or a necessary environment to use it. The same bodes true with depression. I do NOT mess around with it. I don’t treat it as an inconvenient gnat. I’m not casual with it.  I take care of it head on just like I would if I had diabetes. . What I mean by that is one of the most dangerous things people can do is to ignore their depression.  Such persons must be spoken to when they are not suffering a bout of depression and be brought to realize that this can be a killer disease. Worse, it can not only kill someone physically, but it can zap the life, confidence, and worth out of all of those around you that you love.  That’s the worst kind of death, in my opinion.  Professional assistance should be sought out for ANY level of depression. It may not be at a level which requires medication. But it should be watched just as aggressively as a cancerous lump.

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Visit with your doctor about any depression symptoms you may have photo c/o www3.whig.com

Secondly, do everything NATURALLY to help battle the depression as possible. This is where I really get to apply some control over this disability and so can many others. As I’ve often said, Preparedness isn’t about being ready for an emergency. It’s about being independent from your vulnerabilities and conquering them. Even those with a physical limitation can do a great deal to be independent in spite of that challenge. When it comes to depression, taking proactive steps to conquer it has a compounded positive impact because not only do I benefit from the independence and peace that such actions take, I also benefit physically in my minimizing the effect of the disease.  Just as many paraplegics refuse to be a burden on those around them, persons who struggle with depression will also benefit substantially from taking on this responsibility as well.

Every time I drink water, for example, I know that I’m taking my depression head on.  Every time I make a healthier food choice or avoid harmful foods I am taking charge of my depression and how it affects those I love.  Every time I work out, I am showing the depression who’s really the boss. *grin* Every time I push myself towards a proactive work I’m “pushing past the pain” so to speak, much like physical therapy.

(As a side note, proper water hydration, excellent nutrition, and physical activity are ALL significant aids in battling depression but they do need to be consistent.)

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Excercise and staying hydrated are a must in battling depression photo c/o skynewswire.com

Next, I treat depression with respect.  When I feel it coming on significantly, I do not ignore it. I let my husband know, “hey, it’s coming on and I’m going to just go lie down.”  He’s been educated enough to know that it isn’t about him or what he did or didn’t do. He knows it just comes about sometimes.  Sometimes it’s more like this kind of conversation: “Honey, I’ve got a bout of depression coming on and I still have this to do to get ready for a class. Can you help me?”  It’s no different in my household than if I were to say “Hey, Honey. I just threw my back out; can you lift this for me?”  I don’t hide it from my husband.  But I don’t worry him excessively because he knows that I treat it head on and listen to what’s going on in my body and pay attention. Doing this actually gives me ability many times to censor myself or my actions in the event that I do feel a bout coming on.  It’s almost like a head game. I can realize that I’m about to respond one way to a scenario, recognize it as being driven by my disability, and instead proactively choose to deal with the scenario by my own agency and not that of my disability. It’s because of this that I sometimes jokingly refer to my depression as that stupid hump on my back that gets in my way sometimes.  “It’s alive!,” I sometimes kid, pointing to the imaginary hump on my back, when I realize that I just did something depression driven. While I respect depression, I refuse to be overcome by it, or be less than I’m created to be as a result of it.  I know an 89 year old man that still gets on his stationary bike at 4:00 a.m. to work out. I know amazing Special Olympics children who thrive beyond many non-impaired persons of privilege. I know mothers who went through horrible abuse at the hands of their husbands and who still set the example for me as the epitome of motherhood.  And so when it comes to depression, I’ve taken on the attitude of “there are no victims, only volunteers.”  It’s not always the magic fairy dust that works, but it puts me in an independent state in spite of the obstacle, and that’s what preparedness is all about.

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Give all your pains, frustrations, griefs, worries, and despair over to Christ and He will give you peace.

Lastly, I firmly believe in the power of the Atonement for healing all of our ailments. I know that He suffered not just for our sins, but our pains, griefs, and illnesses as well. Thus I am certain that if I will “wrestle with the Spirit” on a consistent basis that I too will have claim on the efficacy of His atonement to heal what I cannot with all of my best intentions.  I know that the Balm of Gilead is real.  I cannot expect to do 5,000 sit-ups in one day to get a 6-pack of abs.  The price has to be paid over time for such a result, with consistent behavior. This is yet another reason why I’m certain that spiritual preparedness is the number one priority of preparedness. Everything else we may work on can be at the mercy of our effectiveness in that one aspect. Regular fervent prayer, meditation, scripture study—and ensuring that my other activities don’t negate the affect of these actions—is just as important to my depression management as is the medical and nutritional aspects.

And that, my friends, is how I recommend overcoming ANY physical impairment in favor of preparedness today and in the future.

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Copyright 2010 Preparedness Pro & Kellene Bishop.  All rights reserved.  You are welcome to repost this information so long as it is credited to www.PreparednessPro.com & Kellene Bishop

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02 2010