by Kellene Bishop

I’ve decided to be very forthright and open in today’s article in hopes that it truly does help someone else.  I often hear people say “I don’t know how you do all that you do.”  I smile and thank them for their gracious compliment, but the truth of it is, I do what I do while challenging a significant obstacle—depression.

Depression can take hold of anyone. photo c/o hopeworkscommunity.wordpress.com

I realize that in this kind of forum I’m only going to be able to scratch the surface on this topic, but I firmly believe that it has not been appropriately addressed in real-life terms and is especially absent topic in the arena of preparedness.

First of all, allow me to dispel some myths of depression.  Depression isn’t a mood, it’s a disease. It’s a break down in the chemical functions of the body that impair communications from the brain to the rest of the body.  The impairment of proper brain charges and chemicals is much like someone having low blood sugar, or high insulin levels, a heart murmur, or a person in need of blood thinners, etc.  In other words, it’s about a deficiency in the body.

Depression isn’t about “woe is me, I want to end my life,” although many forms of depression can get that serious.  There are many levels of depression. Some levels of depression are the lowest of the low and considered “manic.” Other forms manifest themselves when a person eats poorly or doesn’t get enough rest.  Still other forms manifest themselves on a low level throughout a person’s life or on a higher level when a great deal of decision making is thrust upon them. (it feels more like an anxiety though, at that point rather than what some people would associate with “depression.”) Feeling grief or unresponsive due to a severe tragedy in a person’s life isn’t depression. It’s responding naturally to life. Although some people do have a physiological change in their chemical make up in response to such an instance and succumb to depression as a result.  It’s actually very similar to someone being injured in a car accident. Instead, a person’s heart, brain, chemical balance, etc. is injured in a collision with grief.

The grief process can be exacerbated by depression photo c/o www.theocentric.com

Contrary to assumptions, depression isn’t always about a feeling of low or sadness. Sometimes it’s feeling a serious lack of energy to do anything proactive. Sometimes the chemical imbalance demands a great deal of sleep. Depression isn’t something that a person can just “snap out of.”  You can no easier get a person to “snap out of depression” than you can get a paralyzed person to get up out of their wheelchair and walk as the result of a superhuman will.  Some who struggle with depression appear to the outsiders to be wallowing in their victimization status or their “Eeyore moods.”  What many folks don’t realize is that the depressed person literally can’t see it.  Getting them to “snap out of it” when they are in that state is like trying to get a blind person to see clearly. The vision of a seriously depressed person is physiologically skewed and does not represent full faculties. A person suffering from serious depression simply does not see the world as it really is.  They have chemical blinders, much like a person whose mental capacity is altered by drugs.

Another misconception that I really wish people understood for their own benefit is that depression is NOT triggered by the actions of someone else or a particular experience. Too many folks take blame upon themselves for the heavy level of depression experienced by a loved one in their life. While a great deal of stress or a mean hearted act of someone else may not be helpful to someone who struggles with depression, it’s never solely responsible for the depression. Think about it.  Any person who doesn’t deal with depression is affected by stresses of the day, right?  But what happens in response to life, with a person who has depression, is based primarily to how the body responds to the instance—chemicals and electrical charges and all.  Sometimes the chemical and brain signals are insufficient to appropriately deal with a situation. But just because someone has depression doesn’t give an edict of authority to the rest of the world to change and accommodate the person who struggles with depression either.  Just because I may struggle with depression doesn’t give me the right to alter someone else’s behavior.  To put it another way, my car running out of gas on the way to your house isn’t about you living 500 miles away. It’s about how much gas I have in my car. I have a girlfriend who is married to a man who struggles with depression. She can love him, she can be accommodating to a point. But that doesn’t mean that she is to allow his disability to define her worth and virtue as a wife. In other words, when dealing with a person who has depression, it really is NOT you, it’s them.

Compassion and understand is imperative for those living with depression photo c/o brucefong.wordpress.com

So, if you or a loved one struggle with depression, what can be done so that the disease itself doesn’t preclude you from surviving everyday now as well as serious trials in the future?  The answer is specific to a person with depression at any level, but it also has some commonalities with someone who suffers from diabetes or hear or kidney problems. There is only so much you can do to be prepared. But there are a whole LOT of “so much you can do” actions to take.  And then simply let what will be, be from there.

First of all, the key to surviving depression is accepting it.  It’s real. It’s not going to just go away, and person who has depression MUST deal with it as such. When it comes to depression, I feel like dealing with it is just as serious as dealing with a firearm. I use a firearm regularly, but I have the ultimate of respect for its power. I instinctively keep my finger off of the trigger unless I’m in a safe environment or a necessary environment to use it. The same bodes true with depression. I do NOT mess around with it. I don’t treat it as an inconvenient gnat. I’m not casual with it.  I take care of it head on just like I would if I had diabetes. . What I mean by that is one of the most dangerous things people can do is to ignore their depression.  Such persons must be spoken to when they are not suffering a bout of depression and be brought to realize that this can be a killer disease. Worse, it can not only kill someone physically, but it can zap the life, confidence, and worth out of all of those around you that you love.  That’s the worst kind of death, in my opinion.  Professional assistance should be sought out for ANY level of depression. It may not be at a level which requires medication. But it should be watched just as aggressively as a cancerous lump.

Visit with your doctor about any depression symptoms you may have photo c/o www3.whig.com

Secondly, do everything NATURALLY to help battle the depression as possible. This is where I really get to apply some control over this disability and so can many others. As I’ve often said, Preparedness isn’t about being ready for an emergency. It’s about being independent from your vulnerabilities and conquering them. Even those with a physical limitation can do a great deal to be independent in spite of that challenge. When it comes to depression, taking proactive steps to conquer it has a compounded positive impact because not only do I benefit from the independence and peace that such actions take, I also benefit physically in my minimizing the effect of the disease.  Just as many paraplegics refuse to be a burden on those around them, persons who struggle with depression will also benefit substantially from taking on this responsibility as well.

Every time I drink water, for example, I know that I’m taking my depression head on.  Every time I make a healthier food choice or avoid harmful foods I am taking charge of my depression and how it affects those I love.  Every time I work out, I am showing the depression who’s really the boss. *grin* Every time I push myself towards a proactive work I’m “pushing past the pain” so to speak, much like physical therapy.

(As a side note, proper water hydration, excellent nutrition, and physical activity are ALL significant aids in battling depression but they do need to be consistent.)

Excercise and staying hydrated are a must in battling depression photo c/o skynewswire.com

Next, I treat depression with respect.  When I feel it coming on significantly, I do not ignore it. I let my husband know, “hey, it’s coming on and I’m going to just go lie down.”  He’s been educated enough to know that it isn’t about him or what he did or didn’t do. He knows it just comes about sometimes.  Sometimes it’s more like this kind of conversation: “Honey, I’ve got a bout of depression coming on and I still have this to do to get ready for a class. Can you help me?”  It’s no different in my household than if I were to say “Hey, Honey. I just threw my back out; can you lift this for me?”  I don’t hide it from my husband.  But I don’t worry him excessively because he knows that I treat it head on and listen to what’s going on in my body and pay attention. Doing this actually gives me ability many times to censor myself or my actions in the event that I do feel a bout coming on.  It’s almost like a head game. I can realize that I’m about to respond one way to a scenario, recognize it as being driven by my disability, and instead proactively choose to deal with the scenario by my own agency and not that of my disability. It’s because of this that I sometimes jokingly refer to my depression as that stupid hump on my back that gets in my way sometimes.  “It’s alive!,” I sometimes kid, pointing to the imaginary hump on my back, when I realize that I just did something depression driven. While I respect depression, I refuse to be overcome by it, or be less than I’m created to be as a result of it.  I know an 89 year old man that still gets on his stationary bike at 4:00 a.m. to work out. I know amazing Special Olympics children who thrive beyond many non-impaired persons of privilege. I know mothers who went through horrible abuse at the hands of their husbands and who still set the example for me as the epitome of motherhood.  And so when it comes to depression, I’ve taken on the attitude of “there are no victims, only volunteers.”  It’s not always the magic fairy dust that works, but it puts me in an independent state in spite of the obstacle, and that’s what preparedness is all about.

Give all your pains, frustrations, griefs, worries, and despair over to Christ and He will give you peace.

Lastly, I firmly believe in the power of the Atonement for healing all of our ailments. I know that He suffered not just for our sins, but our pains, griefs, and illnesses as well. Thus I am certain that if I will “wrestle with the Spirit” on a consistent basis that I too will have claim on the efficacy of His atonement to heal what I cannot with all of my best intentions.  I know that the Balm of Gilead is real.  I cannot expect to do 5,000 sit-ups in one day to get a 6-pack of abs.  The price has to be paid over time for such a result, with consistent behavior. This is yet another reason why I’m certain that spiritual preparedness is the number one priority of preparedness. Everything else we may work on can be at the mercy of our effectiveness in that one aspect. Regular fervent prayer, meditation, scripture study—and ensuring that my other activities don’t negate the affect of these actions—is just as important to my depression management as is the medical and nutritional aspects.

And that, my friends, is how I recommend overcoming ANY physical impairment in favor of preparedness today and in the future.

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Copyright 2010 Preparedness Pro & Kellene Bishop.  All rights reserved.  You are welcome to repost this information so long as it is credited to www.PreparednessPro.com & Kellene Bishop

Emergency preparedness capitalizes and commercializes fear photo c/o www.doh.state.fl.us/

Yup. You read that right. I hate emergency preparedness. I loathe the use of the phrase “emergency preparedness.”  I suspect that some psychotic Anarchist came up with the phrase in an attempt to capitalize and commercialize fear.  The word emergency is intended to quicken the heart beat, make the breathing more shallow, make one feel out of control and vulnerable and replace confidence and competence with debilitating anxiety. The very use of the word “emergency” sucks all of the peace out of the word preparedness. To me “emergency preparedness” is much of an oxymoron as is “stimulus bill.” It’s no wonder the words prepper, survivalist, and food storage get the reactions that they do today.  I’ve never once seen the term “emergency preparedness” in the scriptures. In fact, I don’t find the word crisis, chaos, or emergency anywhere in the scriptures. (That should tell you all something, by the way.)

Picture this. You’re at a big dinner party. You’re mixing and mingling with folks. Interacting. Asking about their lives, work, families. Heads are bobbing mutually in polite enthusiasm and smiles. Conversation continues as the awkward phase between two strangers commence in an effort to create a new friendship.  Every great relationship has to start somewhere, right? I’m sure you can all relate to this process of socializing.  I love it…until I hear “the” question.

“So, what do you do for a living?”

“Darn, I think to myself. And we were getting to know each other so well!”

Regardless of which component of my work I share with them, I know that I’m likely to get one of the three following responses.

1- Boring and useless: When I see this expression I feel about as sexy as Michael Moore in an American flag printed Speedo. They can’t relate whatsoever to what I do, what I’m passionate about, and why I care. They go from gregarious to bordering on rude.

People sometimes view emergency preparedness experts as a little "crazy" photo c/o www.transbuddha.com

2- Crazy: Most of you know what I mean by this response. The people who think I’m crazy are wondering why Martha Stewart was put in jail and yet somehow I’ve managed to stay on this side of the bars.

3-Know it all: This is the most painful response of all.  Those who think they know all there is to know about preparedness are dangerous not only to themselves, but to those they share their “wisdom” with.  My mom always said that the only thing worse than being alone is being with the wrong person. I like to apply that motherly advice towards knowledge in the world of preparedness—the only thing worse than being ignorant is knowing the wrong information. To make matters worse, these people actually tend to be the ones who actually put the word CRAZY in survivalists.

So really, why does the term emergency preparedness cause such abrasive and caustic responses? Why does it have the ability to divide loved ones as powerfully as abortion rights, gun rights, and political beliefs?  The answer is actually quite simple.  And if you want to be more successful in influencing others that you care about to jump on the preparedness band wagon, you’ll embrace what I’m trying to teach you today.

The only “emergency preparedness” folks relate to is the stuff that Hollywood depicts on screen.  They know that’s not real, right?  You know, that Armageddon, The War of Worlds, Meteor, The Day After Tomorrow, 2012 kind of stuff.  Couple that with what little they know about the cataclysmic events in the Old Testament, and you have an absolutely foreign world.  It’s true. You’re more likely to get someone to believe that human beings descended from apes than you are to get them to believe that they need to have a year’s supply of food and water on hand.  Such an apocalyptic scenario is completely unrelatable to most, which is why they truly think that people who believe in the need for emergency preparedness are crazy. Sure you can enjoy the entertainment of science fiction movies, but  you don’t believe in this stuff, right? The term emergency preparedness makes no sense to the rational mind.  This is why I’ve come to loathe “emergency preparedness.”  It’s an ineffective approach to helping people get prepared. In fact, it has the opposite effect. It’s ridiculous to think that folks will ever prepare for something that’s so far fetched.

The Hollywood version of the Last Days is what most people think of when they hear "Emergency Preparedness" photo c/o ltscotland.org.uk

A worldwide war? Nah. Our government will protect us

A complete financial collapse. How’s that possible? Can’t we just print more money?

A food shortage? I’ll just go hunting and get water from the nearby lake—like thousands of other people.

A massive earthquake? Nah. We haven’t had one of those for 100 years.

A pandemic? No. That’s what immunization shots are for.

Successful preparedness only happens when you can actually relate to the reality of a scenario in which you would need to be prepared.  Admit it. Even YOU didn’t jump on board at first with some of the scenarios I’ve mentioned above.  Some of you haven’t embraced all of them yet either. It takes time, process, studying, digesting.   Why? Your heart and mind are still maturing and resolving how you’re going to handle such a scenario.  Your consciousness simply cannot solve a problem that it cannot accept as being real.   However, there ARE plenty of more relatable scenarios that will better compel folks to becoming better prepared.  The believability of the scenario is what compels folks to be prepared, not the term “Emergency preparedness” accompanied by the theme song from the movie, “Jaws.”

I hate shots. I really, really have a hard time with them. Why? Because no matter what I do, I simply cannot prepare and properly anticipate how much they hurt.  I remember having a “diagnostic test” done.  It was supposed to be “painless” and feel like nothing more than what an acupuncture treatment.  However, 45 minutes later I had honestly endured the most painful experience of my entire life. During the procedure I had literally prayed that Heavenly Father would just take me then and there instead of me having to endure it any longer. I was sobbing the most pathetic cry I had ever heard come out of me.  Yup. NO way to prepare for that kind of an experience right now—not if you still want me to go through with it.  Unfortunately, I think that many people view “emergency preparedness” the same way.  Most rational persons block out the horrific.  They don’t trust that they can endure it.  They are afraid of what strength they will be called to provide, never having been tested in battle against an unfathomable opponent.

Here’s the reality of things.  When I come home from a long day and I’ve got less than 40 minutes to get ready for my next appointment, freshen up, and prepare a meal for my husband. Then my phone rings. Leslie has just had her baby. Can I take a dinner over to her–tonight?  Now you see?  THAT is a realistic “emergency” to me. Can I get through it all without biting my husband’s head off because I’m tired and hungry?  Can I actually cook something nutritious and stay on budget without having to purchasing expensive, processed garbage?  Can the food be tasty enough that the woman and her family don’t later ignore me at church?

Getting the kids to where they all need to be. Utility bill rising 700% over a period of three months.  Learning your oldest son struggles with depression. Having a family of 8 move in with you due to their home being destroyed in a fire. Gas going up to $4 a gallon. Fixing a flat tire on an 8 lane freeway. The death of an immediate family member.  A hurricane runs through your community. Raising a child with Downs Syndrome. Discovering your spouse has been unfaithful. Getting lost in downtown Baltimore.  A “noreaster” ice storm.  Being accidentally locked in a public restroom. Your household loses its primary breadwinner. Discovering that the pillar of your church and community is really a drug dealer and a sexual predator.  Your minimum mortgage payment doubling while your home’s value plummets to 70% of your existing loan. The lap top’s hard drive crashing.  Your family is involved in a serious car accident. Etc., etc., etc. THESE are all realistic “emergencies” to be prepared for so that you can minimize the stress and strain and make it through with the maximum amount of peace possible. THESE are scenarios that we can more readily relate to. THESE are emergencies we can overcome and conquer in strength and dignity with some preemptive steps of preparedness. If folks will begin to think of preparedness in terms of realistic scenarios then their mind and heart can tackle such battles mentally and physically. Every crisis which is averted and every one of life’s scuffles that we make it through, allows us to be prepared for bigger and better.

A full pantry equals peace of mind

You’re not crazy. Your understanding of an emergency has simply elevated to a level which is unfathomable to others.  The more you can realistically conceive, the more you can be prepared for.  Yes, we’ve all got to start somewhere. Us “crazy folks” are simply further along in our mental process than others whose idea of stress is when the mean girl doesn’t get voted off of “The Bachelor.” Understanding this will help you to be more successful in helping others with their preparedness efforts. When you’re discussing preparedness with others, leave the term “emergency preparedness” out of the conversation. Make their thoughts about preparedness more about self-reliance, independence, and adaptability to change. And provide them with realistic scenarios that actually apply to their life. To encourage their more advanced mental preparation, give them realistic “what if” scenarios to mull over. Back up your scenarios with calm and intelligently laid out data. The only emotion that you want to bring into the conversation is that of the sincere love and concern you have for the well-being of the person you’re talking to.  Keep in mind that the very word “emergency” garners panic, chaos, and fear.  Who in the world wants to be prepared for THAT?  Make sure that you keep learning as well.  And remember, preparedness is peace. Emergency is fear. Good luck with your efforts to help others prepare and to advance in your own preparedness efforts.

Copyright 2010 Preparedness Pro & Kellene Bishop.  All rights reserved.  You are welcome to repost this information so long as it is credited to www.PreparednessPro.com & Kellene Bishop.

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